As I squeezed past, the unmistakable odour of stale alcohol struck my senses and nearly laid me out; this was a 9.10 flight and this guy was clearly heavily intoxicated. That is way too early in the morning to be this drunk and he wasn't just topping up.
While we were still boarding and he became very chatty; I was thinking at least an empty seat separates us, maybe someone can come and sit in the seat and act as a buffer. I was in no mood for chatting, I had caught the 1:10 flight from Perth to Singapore after spending the previous day at work.
At around 4:00 the breakfast service starts ready for the 6:30 arrival, no time for sleep. This was the three and a half hour flight from Singapore to Manila, I was hoping to get an hour or possibly two of sleep before my Friday night out in Manila - this was looking less likely now.
The middle seat passenger arrives, after a robust discussion with the steward and my new friend, he shuffles into the middle seat complaining heavily and proceeds to tell me all about the injustice of airline seating.
I learnt that he flew from the UK to Singapore where he devoured as much alcohol on the plane as possible. They must have cut him off at some stage because he rummaged through his carry-on luggage, opened his duty free and consumed the bottle of whisky mid-flight.
As the flight stewardess handed the inflight menu out, he complained loudly they didn't serve beer on the flight. I stupidly pointed out that Singapore's very drinkable Tiger Beer is served on Singapore Airlines flights.
So he immediately proceeded to order a beer even though they were not serving yet, the ever helpful Singapore Airlines dutifully obliged. Naturally this was followed by another can and in short time, a third can of beer.
The meal cart appeared and breakfast was served, I asked for a glass of red wine with my brunch, yes it was still morning, well before midday, but what the hell, I was on holidays. A glass of wine with lunch is acceptable - maybe even a second.
Naturally my neighbour ordered a beer with his meal that slipped right through his hands as the stewardess handed it over. As the can rolled around on the floor, she handed him another - I was becoming a little uneasy now.
He glanced over at my glass of red wine and proclaimed loudly that red wine was a great idea and was poured a glass of red wine. So here he was clutching a glass of red wine in one hand and a plastic cup of beer in the other.
He alternately sipped from the left and right hands and forgot about his meal. Three more of these mixed beer/wine orders arrived before he finished the red wine decided to set his beer down on his table, one presumes to start eating brunch.
I can only presume his coordination was somewhat impaired as he knocked the full beer all over his tray table and onto the guy in the aisle seat. Beer was running everywhere and the staff had to clear the tray tables away before he could get up.
Somehow I remained immune to the beer bath from my vantage point of the window seat, I found some humour in the situation as I handed my napkin over without looking at him, so there wasn't even a need for an expressionless face.
When he stood up the beer had soaked into his lap giving the appearance that he had pissed himself, the look of horror on the other passenger's faces was hilarious. Everyone in the immediate area was well aware how drunk this guy was, he was pretty loud.
The seat cushion was also soaked, the faces of the people who walked up and down the aisle could see the huge wet stain on the seat cushion and his wet groin, the expressions of disgust was laughable as he exited the toilet.
There was no secret as to where all these alcoholic beverages were going. He was escorted to the rear of the aircraft where the staff presumably found this gentleman a dry seat - one hopes the rest of his flight was dry too.
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